Sometimes it seems that being a mother has been overrated so much that a woman’s personality starts being weighed by it. Whereas now women are accepting that becoming a mother or not is a personal decision of any woman and not a certificate of womanhood.
Aruna Irani once said in her interview that she does not want to give her child the struggle she faced. Despite being from a financially weak family, he not only made a special place for himself in Bollywood, but also helped his younger siblings to study and become self-reliant. Shabana Azmi also decided not to have children of her own. He said that there is no need to give birth to a child to strengthen the bond between us (Shabana Azmi-Javed Akhtar). Examples are many, and their reasons are also different. But now there are many women who do not consider it very important to become a mother (womanhood without motherhood). Let’s meet 3 such women.
Karuna Kanchan: If you have love then why be limited to your child only?
Karuna Kanchan, who has become popular in every household with the television serial Pushpa Impossible, considers her pet dogs as her children. The special thing is that he has not bought any of these. All of them were wandering in the streets due to some injury or neglect. He took care of these abandoned dogs like his own children in his home.
Karuna says, “Certainly the status of a mother is very big. No one can match him. We believe that a mother can do anything for her children. But this does not mean that it should be done only for your child. There are many needy children around us whom we can help. If we really have motherhood in us.”
Amita Nirav: Child is a personal decision, not a social responsibility.
There is evidence of giving respect to the motherly nature of women in more or less every civilization of the world. Even before the proper development of civilization, population had played the most important role in tribal conflicts. In the subsequent ten-thousand-year history of civilization, the rise of private property and the concept of inheritance materialized the imagination of the family. It was from here that the destiny of a woman was determined and this was the turning point from where the motherly nature of a woman was established.
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From then till today the prestige of this form of woman has not decreased even a bit. With time, it has been further strengthened by many stories, myths, proverbs, arguments, facts etc. Another new thing added to this in Asian societies is the prestige of being the ‘mother of sons’. The order here is that the most respected is the ‘mother of the sons’, then the mother of the ‘son’ and finally the mother of the ‘daughter’. Even with the advent of modern times, the prestige of mother and the glorification of being a mother has not diminished.
I objected to this order, this taboo. So I decided that I had to separate myself from the line. However, before marriage it was not certain how successful I would be in my decision. But after marriage, when I discussed this issue with my husband, he also agreed. Today it has been 27 years since our marriage. During this time, people from family and society have been explaining the importance of the child in different ways.
Those who earlier used to say that love in a family increases with children, now argue that it is a stick of old age. But our decision did not change nor did our love decrease. In my opinion to have a child or not is a person’s personal decision, it is not a social responsibility that every third person asked you how many children you have.
What should happen is that if you are not emotionally and financially ready to raise a child, or you do not feel the need of anyone else in your relationship, or your own relationship is not well formed right now, then parent The selection of the done option may be postponed. Because despite all the pressure, temptation and insecurity, it will be the responsibility of the parents to raise the child.
Amrita Bera: We had decided long ago that we did not want children
No one person can complete another. Children are also included in this. I am a ghazal singer, writer and translator and I have my own life. I don’t feel that I am incomplete in any way by not being a mother. My family environment has been such that we have always had the right to take our own decisions and we had decided very early on that we did not need children.
My sister’s children, so to speak, have grown up in my house. All the children I meet instantly connect with me and I too naturally am able to shower them with full love with the feeling of motherhood. I don’t feel it is necessary for him to be my mother. Love and affection are spontaneous feelings which arise in the mind of every child.
Is it necessary to be in love that you have to give birth to a child from your own womb? The population is already so high that we did not want to increase it further. In many countries, where earlier couples were planning to have a single child, now they do not want even a single child.
Also read – I had told you long ago that I am not a super mom, meet social worker and writer Sarita Nirjhara.